And then we became parents and we did a lot of things we
said we would never do. “We're never going to let our child have a nukky
past age two!” "We will not talk in made up baby words." “We will not resort to
bribery.” “Our children will be
intrinsically motivated!” Ummm, well, you know then life happened and reality
set in and parenting was much harder than we anticipated. We’ve eaten our words many times as parents;
as humans who feel passionately and sometimes strongly about various
topics.
Something else happened too, parenting was also much more fulfilling
and amazing than we expected it to be. As
a couple we have had many in-depth conversations about how we want to
raise our children and what we want life to be like for our family both
inside and outside of our home. We’ve discovered
that parenting is less about the children and more about the parents. Motherhood is less about the children and
more about the mother. Fatherhood is
less about the children and more about the father. Nothing in our lives have made us examine and
discover who we are and who we want to be
more than becoming parents and then suddenly needing to lead by example…to not
only tell your children how to act and serve, but to show them by living it out
daily in the both the mundane moments and the exceptional moments.
There are both pros and cons to every single situation we
will ever choose for our children.
We
feel nervous, excited, grateful and certain about our decision to homeschool. In all honesty, there is a very slight fear that we might one day
regret our choice. However, we feel that is very unlikely and find comfort in
knowing that this choice isn’t permanent.
Though we have hopes to homeschool long term, we will continue to pray, discuss, reflect and will revisit our decision
each year. This is one of the biggest
parenting decisions we have ever made. A
decision that we came to partially by leap of faith and conviction and partially
by a desire to lead a certain lifestyle...that just so happens to be a little different
from the norm.
Over the past year and a half, we have spent countless hours praying, researching, and talking to
parents and educators in our area's private Christian schools, an international school, a Montessori school, and even a virtual charter school. We have talked to homeschooling parents and their
middle and high school aged children about both the successes and
challenges. We talked to passionate homeschoolers
and to homeschoolers who tried and then decided it wasn’t the right choice for
their family anymore. We interviewed and toured our
local public school. We gained a lot of
valuable insight and see the value that each setting has to offer. We have not come to this decision lightly.
Sometimes, you have to say no to a perfectly good option, so you can say
yes to what really is best for your
family. We are confident
that homeschooling is the best choice for our family at this time.
Deep breath…we have chosen to homeschool.
Once upon a time, we scoffed at the
idea of homeschooling. We were opinionated
on a subject matter we knew very little about. We clung to old fashioned
stereotypes. We didn’t take the time to
understand and learn about it.
Since then we have learned to never say never.
Ever.
For a while, we’ve felt that God was tugging
at us. Leading us down a different
path. Telling us to slow down and be
intentional with our time, our resources; with each other. We
tried to ignore the tugging. Tried to slow down by setting boundaries and saying "no thank you" to invitations for get togethers so we didn't feel as if we were constantly trying to "keep up with the Joneses"; constantly trying to play catch up on housework and quality time with our little family unit. We tried to slow down without making any drastic career changes or non-mainstream schooling choices. We worried a
little too relentlessly about how we would be perceived by others. Worried about
our ability to pursue this lifestyle, about our ability to perform up to the
expectations of ourselves and others; throwing out excuses without ever seriously considering it.
After a while we gave in and considered
the idea of becoming a homeschooling family.
Prior to that decision, we had already discussed becoming a one income
family. What would that look like, what
sacrifices would we need to make, what are the pros and cons, how long before
we would be able to safely and comfortably make that leap? In case you were wondering, the “what would
that look like” became very appealing, the pros won out by a long shot and financial
sacrifices that do need to be made seem a small price to pay. Now, after very careful discernment, planning, prayer, and budgeting discipline (tracking
everything and aggressively working
toward our goals) over the past years we are finally at a point where we
are comfortable with our decision to become a one income homeschooling
family.
Insert brief moments of doubt balanced with moments of excitement and anticipation for what our future holds.
Educational preferences are different for everyone. Situations are
different for everyone. School can be an amazing place too. We are not discrediting it for others at all, or for us, or forever. There are so many educators we know, respect
and cherish as people. We can’t thank
them enough for all that they do, continue to do, and have done for children.
It’s a sacrifice and a calling for
them. We admire how they pour their time and energy into caring for and
teaching children. We are grateful to live in a place where we have the freedom to choose the educational path that best fits individual families.
If you are curious about something in
regards to our decision to homeschool, please ask. We
welcome sincere and respectful questions! (It sure beats that
awkward smile that people keep giving us because they just don’t know how to
react or what to say or because we are kind of freaking them out a little…but don't worry; we get it, really! We’ve been there,
done that too.)
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"Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than
remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole (family). My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so
with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. Making a living is not the same thing as making a
life.” ~Maya Angelou
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